


Of Hidden Meanings and Odd Intentions

by Amanotaku



Category: Produce 101 (TV), UNIQ (Band), UP10TION, X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Complicated Relationships, M/M, Plotting, Romance, Scheming, i didnt think we were gonna have such romance but here we are, inspired by THE moment in the showcon, jealous hangyul, jealous jinhyuk, oof, rip hangyul & jinhyuk, seungyoun stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2020-09-28 09:57:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20424074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amanotaku/pseuds/Amanotaku
Summary: Jinhyuk and Hangyul join forces to give Seungyoun and Wooseok a taste of their own medicine after the showcon performance





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Twitter @hangyuwuu (cc linked in bio)
> 
> sorry i needed to let everyone that I'm not giving up on Seungyul.

Hangyul was giddy. 

He was finally debuting as a member of X1, standing centerstage at the showcase as thousands of fans cheered. It’s absolutely surreal; with (very) humble beginnings, he’s well aware that he was so lucky to be able to hear the deafening fanchants and yells that fill the stadium, cheering  _ him _ on.

He remembered feeling the same thrill during his first backup dancing gig, except he wasn’t the center of attention, and his job was to merely add to the performance, not star in it. But there was a new sense of exhilaration that he felt. It seemed almost like a dream: like he would soon wake up in his company dorm and have to keep tirelessly working towards his debut.

Although all the members had doubts about their success, Hangyul realized that this debut was a rebirth, a chance to finally prove himself and pay back his parents for all that they’ve done. As the stage opened up for them to finally walk out, the sight of so many supporters holding banners of various colors put him in awe. 

Looking to his side, he made eye contact with Seungyoun and they walked out into the light and cheers ahead of them. Hangyul's heart was beating faster than ever, feeling almost like he was going to pass out from excitement. 

The majority of the showcase passed by like a blur. Like him, the members were too nervous and too occupied with making a good stage to really remember most of what happened on stage. 

Hangyul was basically in the zone when they performed their dances. He remembered the angles and critiques that their instructor told them to perfect. He felt the loud pulsing beats and let them guide his dancing as he let the choreography naturally flow from him. 

They were performing U Got It when Hangyul was shook from his concentrated daze. It was Wooseok’s part, followed by Seungyoun’s part, where they were supposed to go back to back and gesture along with their lyrics. 

When the dancer snapped his view to the center, he saw Seungyoun break choreography and approach Wooseok. He placed a hand under the visual’s chin, tilting his head to face the rapper’s. The taller male pulled in even closer, keeping eyes locked on Wooseok as he continued his line. 

Suddenly all the sound filled Hangyul’s ears again, breaking him from his focus. The fans screamed and cheered even harder after the interaction between the pair, and something about that unsettled the dancer to no end. 

A little shaken up after witnessing the moment, Hangyul hurriedly got rid of any trace of shock on his face and went back to being the ‘sexy dancer’ that he’s been labeled as. He didn’t fully fall back into his zone, this time keeping a vigilant eye out on the two people in question as he continued to do the fast paced choreography.

For the entirety of the showcase, he became somewhat hyper aware of any sort of interaction between the two and every time he noticed something, he felt an ugly, nagging feeling at the back of his mind. Still, he tried to keep his smile up for as long as possible, but combined with the ache in his back and the dull pains in his ankle with every move, Hangyul could tell that his smile was slipping. 

By the time it was the final song, Hangyul was downright exhausted. Although he felt a little bit displeased with his performance due to getting distracted in the middle of the showcase, the thought that they’ve finally started their journey helped him brush away all of his inhibitions.

As they exited backstage, it was glaringly obvious to Hangyul that the rapper that usually hung around him was absent. A glance ahead showed the male in question with his arm slung around Wooseok as they walked towards their friends who were waiting to send their congrats and gifts.

Frowning, Hangyul stopped in his tracks, taking the time to brood over the situation. Of course, the dancer had developed feelings for Seungyoun over the course of the filming of the Produce X 101. Making the debut lineup was surreal, especially knowing that he’d be debuting  _ with _ Seungyoun.

It’s only natural that he’s pissed off over what he’s witnessed. Days coming up to the final, the pair of them had actually ended up crossing the lines of friendly skinship. Comfortable hand holding and little nudges here and there had somehow turned into cuddling in the same bed and hurried kisses in hidden alcoves that the cameras didn’t reach. 

Due to all the time they never had while filming the show, they were never able to define where they stood. Whenever Hangyul and Seungyoun tried to find the time to sit down and discuss their relationship, they were always interrupted by their hectic training schedule or were filming.

Even after making it into X1 together, they spent so much time with the debut preparations that their relationship status stayed up in the air. On rare occasions that they were in the dorm at the same time, they were usually asleep or in the presence of the other members. It drove Hangyul _crazy._

Seungyoun would always find a way to keep up little moments of skinship, although it seemed like in the past few days, the rapper had been distancing himself from Hangyul. And even if it bothered the dancer, he just focused on practicing for the showcase instead. He spent days in the dance room, running through choreographies until he was drenched in sweat and minutes from passing out from exhaustion.

But now, more than ever, with his mind clear after finally making it through the debut showcase, he had the time to worry about his ever so confusing relationship with Seungyoun. 

Too lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realize the tall male approaching him from the bustle of staff members and special visitors that crowded the backstage area.

“You good?” Looking up, Jinhyuk stood in front of him, brow raising in concern. “Hangyullie, you just debuted and it looks like someone’s just robbed you of all the good things in life,” the rapper chuckled, reaching his arms out to the other as they quickly hugged.

“Cheer up!” He continued, “It’s your long awaited debut after all!”

Shaking his head with a small smile, the dancer replied, “Sorry hyung, It’s just so overwhelming, and I still can’t believe that it happened.” He didn’t want to seem like he was taking this debut opportunity for granted, especially since he was with Jinhyuk, who had narrowly missed the cut, so he quickly regained his composure and smile.

“I’m just kidding,” Jinhyuk smiles, patting his back comfortingly as the head to the dressing room. “I know how it feels. Reminds me of when I first performed with Up10tion. Debuting feels magical, right?” There was a sad, nostalgic look to Jinhyuk's face, and Hangyul could only imagine how the rapper was feeling in the moment.

“It definitely does, but I feel a little bad because I almost messed up during the performance.” Sighing, he began to walk towards his dressing room, Jinhyuk in tow.

The other looked at him questioningly, replying, “I thought you all did amazing, you especially because I know you’re still injured right now.” It was true, Hangyul was a literal accident in the making, constantly in pain and always reassuring others that he was okay.

Ever since the Unit, he had been struggling with ongoing ankle pains, and getting injured during the move stage made his confidence in dancing even worse. He was afraid of getting majorly injured and then not being able to perform, especially now that he finally made it. As much as the praise from others helped, he still found endless flaws in his performance. 

“Okay but I had a full blown wardrobe malfunction on stage because of that stupid shirt! The ribbons unknotted so quickly and I definitely flashed my entire chest and back to thousands of people!” Hangyul groaned, thinking about how by the end of Boyness, it felt like he wasn’t even wearing a shirt. The top had gradually opened up, and the dancer had simply kept going, pretending that it didn't matter.

“You did fine!” Jinhyuk reassured, narrowly dodging a few people as they made their way through. “Besides, you’re the ‘powerful sexy’ guy of the group anyways! You kind of had the same look during the finale too, so don’t sweat it!” Smirking, he continued, “if anything, it probably gained you a whole lot of fans too.” Hangyul didn't even have to look to know that the other was wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

“But it’s  _ embarrassing!”  _ Hangyul complained, closing the door to the dressing room. He could already imagine the fans screenshotting the video and making a meme out of his demise. 

Hangyul spent quite some time lurking on the internet, looking up fansite photos of himself and also Seungyoun in his free time. For the most part, he saw how people took too much pleasure in making memes and funny videos of the group, which kind of unnerved him but also gave him a lot of well needed laughs in between practice sessions.

“And hyung, the performance didn’t even go to plan!” To think, they rehearsed so many times just for Seungyoun to go and do whatever he wanted when it was performance time. The thought had made Hangyul's blood boil, considering he took their debut _very_ seriously.

At his words, Jinhyuk narrowed his eyes, “What do you mean the performance didn’t go to plan?” Haagyul sighed, looking even more dejected as he had to recall the cursed moment from the showcase. 

“The fucking stunt Seungyoun pulled was not part of the choreo at all.” His friend’s eyes widened in interest, leaning in closer to know more. Hangyul assumed it was because of Jinhyuk's focus on Wooseok, who had earned a spot on Hangyul's 'most hated people' list, which now also included Seungyoun as well.

“Really now?”

“Yeah,” Hangyul huffed, “lowkey pissed at that but whatever.” Maybe it was his fault for not being more proactive when it came to making his feelings clear that things got that far.

Jinhyuk nodded, agreeing, “I was actually wondering about that because I didn’t think you guys would be going  _ that _ far for fanservice.” It was quite hypocritical, considering the show they were on had actual rules that banned excessive skinship, but then had the debut group pump up the interactions.

“Like I had my moment with Seungwoo hyung too,” the dancer started, “but we kept it clean and had a good distance between us.” Groaning as he put his face in his hands, Hangyul continued, “But with Wooseok and Seungyoun, I looked up and they were so close that their mics literally touched.”

Picking up his phone, Jinhyuk quickly checked his schedule before replying. “So are you jealous of Wooseok or something?” Hangyul’s head whipped up, eyes slightly wide after being caught by his friend. 

“I mean I guess,” the male shrugged, trying to look as if it didn’t matter much when really, he was absolutely  _ jealous _ . 

Scoffing, his friend replied, “Aren’t you two like dating or something?” He looked over to Hangyul with a questioning look in his eye When the younger did not reply at all, he continued on. 

“I mean you and Seungyoun, obviously. I thought you guys were dating ever since Move because we all knew that you two never needed to stay back for ‘extra practice’ when you two were literally the best in the team.”

Hangyul's mouth formed a neat 'o' in realization of who Jinhyuk was referring to. “This is going to sound really tragic, but it was like a  _ thing _ , you know?” Hangyul said, gesturing to Jinhyuk as if the rapper knew that he was talking about too.

“Like, a friends with benefits kind of thing?” Jinhyuk said, tilting his head to the side in confusion. Making a shocked face, he leaned back in his seat, adding on, “Honestly looked like you two definitely liked each other but if it’s  _ that _ kind of relationship then I won’t judge.”

Quickly changing out of his outfit and into more comfortable clothes Hangyul answered, “Thing is, I don’t really know where we stand right now, so I don’t know if I’m entitled to be jealous or not.”

“Yikes.” 

“I know, right?” Now that the dancer finished changing, he sat down on the little couch next to his friend. “Are you like dating Wooseok then?”

Giving the dancer a tired eye, he responded, “I’ll just say it’s complicated and leave it at that.” At this, they both groaned and sank even deeper into their seat. 

“So I guess we both got played by those two,” Hangyul said, whipping out his phone to check on the X1 group chat. “Apparently everyone’s going to split up and do their own thing for the rest of the night because the little ones want to go celebrate with their families.”

Excitedly turning to the dancer, Jinhyuk grabbed Hangyul’s hands, “How about we get back at them and make them jealous?” The male’s eyes were practically sparkling with mischievous glint, reminding him of their shenanigans from their SIXC days. 

“I’m down, but what’s the plan though?” Hangyul was honestly tired of all of the teasing and mixed signals that he got from Seungyoun. The elder was perfectly fine being super close with Wooseok and did not have clearing up their relationship status as a priority, so Hangyul felt quite eager for a little bit of revenge. 

“Grab dinner with me,” Jinhyuk said, practically shoving his phone in Hangyul’s face. “There’s a new place that just opened up and it’s got 5 star reviews! Let’s go on a super cute date and post a bunch of cute pictures!” That actually sounded like a good idea, considering Hangyul was hungry as hell after all that happened.

Raising a brow, Hangyul replied, “You’re paying right?” Chucking, he added, “I may be in this group now but I still haven’t been paid anything so I’m still just as broke as always.”

“Of course I’m paying! It’s your debut after all!”

Standing up, Hangyul clapped his hands in excitement, “Now that’s what I like to hear!” He fumbled around with his things, stuffing them into his little bag before standing up and pointing at the door, “Well then let’s get some ramen, Hyung!”

The MBK boys were notorious among the rest of the trainees for having a monstrous appetite, especially after Seungwoo had made the mistake of inviting Dohyon to dinner with the ‘already debuted’ squad along with Hangyul. The pair ate so much that it was rare that anyone would fall into the trap of treating the two out ever again. (Aside from Seungyoun if Hangyul asked nicely enough)

Just as the pair of them finished preparing their things and left, the door swung open, revealing the two people they wanted to see the least strolling in, almost attached at the hip. Hangyul and Jinhyuk shared a knowing look at this, before turning back to the others and smiling. 

“Hey guys!” Seungyoun smiled, “We were looking for you guys everywhere!” Hangyul noticed that the pair were also in regular clothes, Seungyoun dressed quite nice in a button up with a colorful pattern on it and Wooseok in a plain sweater. 

Gesturing at Jinhyuk and Hangyul, Wooseok asked, “What were you two up to then?” In true Wooseok fashion, the smaller male crossed his arms and sent a judgemental eye to them.

“Just talking about the showcase,” the dancer shrugged. “The usual congratulations and comfort, you know?” 

Seungyoun threw an arm around Wooseok and playfully asked, “If that’s all it was, then how about we go get dinner? The four of us and maybe other people if we bump into them!” Wooseok nodded in agreement, smiling amicably at them. 

Before Hangyul could answer, Jinhyuk took charge, throwing his arm over Hangyul in the same was Seungyoun did earlier to Wooseok, smile almost blinding. “Thanks,” the rapper smirked, “but no thanks.” The other two were shocked at the response, obviously not expecting Jinhyuk to decline.

“No?” Wooseok asked, eyes furrowed in confusion. “Oh,” the visual chuckled, shaking his head as he thought that his labelmate was simply messing with them “Okay jokes aside but we’re going out, right Jinhyuk?”

“Actually, I’m taking Hangyullie on a little ramen date to celebrate his debut!” Pulling the dancer closer to him, he continued, “And not to be mean or anything but I really missed him and we promised to go!” Linking their hands together, Jinhyuk added on, “just the two of us.”

Seungyoun’s eyes narrowed, asking, “Hangyullie, I thought you would be down for dinner tonight?” Seungyoun did offer to take him out to dinner, but he had asked him the night after the finale, making teary eyed promises that Hangyul was surprised the rapper even remembered. 

“And when did you get so close?” Wooseok said, slightly strained as he tried to mask his irritation at the situation. The tension in the room was so strong that Hangyul did not dare to 

Jinhyuk practically glowed at the question, ready to get his revenge. “I could say the same about you and Seungyoun, Wooseokie.” Heading towards the door, the rapper led Hangyul by their intertwined hands. “Besides, you two should go and have some quality time together because you seemed awfully  _ close _ onstage.” 

Hangyul was honestly at a loss for words, practically caught in the stand off between the elders. Seungyoun had on a tight lipped smile. Like Wooseok, it seemed as if he too was trying to keep up the pretense that he was fine with everything that was happening. The elder’s eyes had snapped towards Hangyul’s seemingly picking up on his slight discomfort about the situation.

“Are you sure you’re okay with that Hangyullie?” Seungyoun had gotten to the door before the pair, slightly blocking their way out. “You’re looking a little unwilling at being dragged around.” Suddenly caring about Hangyul? A shocker for sure. And although it did make the dancer’s heart melt just a bit, a squeeze on his hand from Jinhyuk quickly reminded him that they were in the middle of a revenge plot. 

He knew exactly what made Seungyoun weak; what made the elder cave in and agree to buy him food all the time, and that was a cute, soft Hangyul. “I really want to hang out with Jinhyuk hyung though,” Hangyul pouted, “I’ll see you guys all the time for the next couple years, but I won’t be able to see him that much.”

Hangyul didn’t go overboard with the cuteness, because he knew his natural personality and mannerisms were already quite endearing. Anything more, and it would seem too fake and overdone. 

Seungyoun’s smile faltered, obviously not expecting the sudden change, hesitation starting to creep into his countenance. For the most part, the younger had always agreed to anything and everything that the elder suggested, and being declined once was more than enough shock for the tall male. 

To make things hurt even worse, Hangyul sent a soft smile that made him look like little bunny as he apologized.

“I’m sorry Seungyoun hyung,” He said, gesturing at the door, “but Jinhyuk hyung made a reservation at the restaurant so we need to get going.” With that, Hangyul and Jinhyuk gave the pair sickeningly sweet smiles as they quickly slid out of the room and headed towards the exit, leaving the other two stunned and in the room. 

Picking up their pace, the two of them quickly evaded the other people still lingering around backstage, finding the door to the exit as they ventured out into the humid evening air. They walked to a nearby street, waiting for the taxi Jinhyuk called to take them to the ramen shop. 

As they stood side by side, the taller male nudged Hangyul, practically giggling, “Reservation huh? That was a good save Hangyullie! And the cute teasing? The cherry on top!” The rapper clapped his hands with glee, beaming, “Did you seek the look on their faces? I wish I took a video for safe keeping!” 

Putting his hands in his pockets, Hangyul replied, “Not going to lie, it felt pretty good doing that.” The dancer wasn’t usually someone who seeked revenge, often choosing to forgive and forget as taught by his parents. Still it did feel extremely liberating to make the generally composed Seungyoun seem uncertain and taken aback for once. 

“Right? The way Wooseok looked like he was going to slap me but also had to keep up his cool persona was downright  _ hilarious _ .” 

The sound of Jinyuk’s phone going off caused him to check it, and whatever was on the screen made the elder grin wildly. Just then, Hangyul also felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, prompting him to check his phone as well. 

It seemed as if Seungyoun had messaged him, message saying, ‘ _ Hangyullie, where are you??’ _

“Is it Seungyoun?” Jinhyuk asked, gesturing at the phone in his hands. “Wooseok wants to know where we’re going. The pair they left behind were apparently still very concerned with what they were doing, which meant that the plan was going just as planned. 

Hangyul nodded, not taking his eyes off of his phone. “How are you going to answer, hyung?” he honestly didn’t know if he wanted to respond at all, considering he was still quite bitter at Seungyoun for all the emotional turmoil the other had put him in. 

“I really don’t know. Do you have any good replies in mind?” 

Smirking, Hangyul replied, “how about we leave them on seen?” Seungyoun was used to having his messages instantly replied to, so he would go insane if his messages were intentionally ignored. “I’m done being so whipped for him. I hope he gets a taste of his own medicine.”

“Hangyullie, you’re a genius!” Jinhyuk laughed, dramatically turning his phone off and throwing it in his pocket. “Wooseok is super uptight when it comes to replying fast too.” He sighs happily, “I sure hope he gets angry at me, Wooseokkie is so cute when he’s pissed off.”

Turning to face Hangyul, Jinhyuk reached his hand out to shake the dancer’s hands. “It’s a pleasure working with you, Hangyullie.”

Giving the rapper a firm shake, Hangyul matched his mischievous smile. “Same to you, Jinhyuk hyung.” 

The taxi had rolled up to the curb they were standing on, and Jinhyuk waved Hangyul over.

“I think today, revenge is going to be so sweet.” 

“Hyung, let’s go break some hearts, shall we?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hangyul and jinhyuk enjoy their date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for being so late on updating! uni is hard and i didn't expect to be so busy!

In front of them, the taxi pulled up and the two of them entered the back of the taxi, with Jinhyuk calling out the destination to the driver. 

“By the way the place is only like a couple minutes away, but do you want to do anything else after we go eat?” Jinhyuk said as pulled out his phone, quickly searching up other things they could do while they were out. They spent most of their time on their phones, looking for recommendations on review sites. 

Hangyul knew that he was going to be craving some dessert, suggesting, “How about we stop by a cafe or bakery to get something sweet?” Showing a picture of a cute cat themed cafe that had lattes with little cat designs on the top. “I never go to these types of places but honestly I really want a kitten latte. And posting a picture here is going to make Seungyoun and Wooseok so angry.”

Wooseok was an absolute sucker for cat themed items, claiming that it was almost his ‘signature’ at this point because of how fans called him a cat. Jinhyuk solely bought cat items for the other, so hopefully their ploy would make the visual’s blood boil, knowing that he wouldn’t be the only person Jinhyuk bought cat items for.

The pair quickly put their phones away as the taxi rolled to a stop near a narrow alleyway, still illuminated by the bright neon signs of the various shops and restaurants that surrounded the area. 

“Hangyullie, your mind today is so powerful!” Jinhyuk smiled, grabbing his bag as they finally made it to the little ramen restaurant. Sending thanks and paying the driver, they exited the taxi, greeted with the sight of a small, homely ramen shop. 

The interior was dimly lit, with the waitress greeting them with a bow, blushing when she recognized the pair. Jinhyuk gave a dazzling smile, asking, “table for two?” She led them to a table not far from the entrance, situated near a couple of other patrons who were busy enjoying their meals. 

Settling in their seats, Jinhyuk quickly ordered two large bowls of ramen for them, adding on an extra soft boiled egg for them both. “They only have miso ramen here apparently, but according to the reviews, adding another egg will bring it to the next level.”

“Sounds good,” Hangyul replied, leisurely taking a sip of his water as he got comfortable. “Be real with me though, hyung, what actually is up between you and Wooseok?”

“You better get comfy in your seat because it's a long ass story,” Jinhyuk sighed, shoulders sinking as he recalled the details. 

“I’ll put it simply. We broke up on the night of the finale.” The elder’s eyes were glued to the table, fingers tapping the table in some sad excuse of a distraction from the reality of the situation.

“Oh, shit,” Hangyul remarked, “How long have you been dating for then?”

“Almost a year, but we obviously were really close when we were trainees and then debuted in the same group so it almost seems like forever.” Jinhyuk sighed in resignation. “Right after the finale he walked right up to me and said that he just couldn’t be away from someone he loved for so long.”

Hangyul’s face recoiled in confusion. “So he just broke up with you then and there? After confessing to you on national television while in tears?” If anything, Hangyul had expected that the finale would strengthen the love between the two, considering they were the type of people who became even better after a struggle.

“I was actually going to go congratulate him and tell him I’ll always love him,” the rapper ruefully chuckled, “and then he told me that he wanted to go back to being ‘just friends’ for his sake.” He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a small huff as he retold the story.

Of course, Jinhyuk was initially understanding of Wooseok’s situation. The visual was always very closed off with his feelings and often overthought situations to the point where he would spend nights crying alone, hoping that nobody would see his tears.

Behind his seemingly perfect smiles were uncertainty, distrust, and a longing for love and acceptance. Though he had an ‘ice prince’ persona, Wooseok actually loved affection and attention, and Jinhyuk gladly gave Wooseok the world: promising to stay by his side, following him to Produce, and loving him unconditionally no matter what the outcome was.

He knew that being apart from Wooseok would make his heart hurt so much. Especially with the rumors of X1 having their phones taken away, Wooseok wouldn’t be able to call him when he was having a bad time, or ask to meet up so he could whisk away all of Wooseok’s fears.

Jinhyuk couldn’t bear seeing Wooseok suffer silently and alone, so even though his heart broke on the night of the finale, he smiled and agreed. That night, he fell asleep alone in Up10tion’s dorm and even under the warm blankets (far better than the thin sheets they had in Produce) , the rapper had never felt so cold before. 

But even after the finale, they still kept in touch. X1’s phones weren’t taken away, and Jinhyuk often found his phone filled with notifications from Wooseok when he’d take a break from his schedule and glance at his phone. By night, Wooseok called him constantly, and they’d have hour long conversations.

It felt as if nothing had changed between them, except for the fact that whenever Jinhyuk would call him a pet name or try to hold his hand when they met up, the younger male would recoil, scrunching his nose in distaste. 

_ Classic tsundere behavior _ he would think, knowing that Wooseok was the type to push others away, but the visual had absolutely no problem calling Jinhyuk to meet up and have one night stands.

He felt like he was being used. Of course, it was quite obvious that both of them still loved each other, seeing as their relationship stayed the exact same, only without the label of a relationship. Some days, Jinhyuk would bring it up, and Wooseok would simply look him in the eye and say, “well we aren’t dating anymore, so it doesn’t matter, right?”

Perhaps it made a little piece of the rapper’s heart break every time he heard it, but he knew Wooseok still loved him. X1 was just putting him in a difficult situation,  _ right? _

Jinhyuk’s eyes always followed Wooseok no matter what, so when he saw the rise of interactions with Seungyoun, he was quite concerned, considering Hangyul always seemed slightly ticked off at the pair as well.

“I really don’t understand his thinking,” Hangyul said, before thanking the waiter for bringing them their food. “So you’re basically just friends with benefits right now but you both like each other.”

“I feel like he’s just having some weird coping moment right now.” Jinhyuk depressingly poked at his ramen, before taking out his phone to snap a picture. “Okay Hangyullie, forget about the depressing shit for a second and look like a super cute boyfriend.”

He posted an instagram story with Hangyul cutely waving his chopsticks in front of his delicious, steaming bowl of ramen. He quirkily captioned the post ‘post-debut dinner! Congrats Hangyullie!’

“So how about you and Seungyoun?” Jinhyuk asked as they dug into their ramen. 

The teen sighed, “Basically everything we have is up in the air. I honestly don’t even know if he really likes me for who I am or if he just thinks this is a one-night-stand, fool around type of thing.” 

Just like the show that they all competed on, Hangyul and Seungyoun had a relationship that was filled with trials, tribulations, and uncertainty. Every moment was filled with the thrill of being able to perform onstage, but also the fear that in the next episode, they could be eliminated.

Though Hangyul wasn’t new to the feeling of elimination shows, Produce brought an entirely different feeling than the Unit. He was no longer the maknae that all the contestants constantly doted on and babied. Even at the young age of nineteen, he was older than many of the contestants and the change in dynamics made him feel a little out of place. 

For Dohyon, he had to become the older brother, just like how he did for Kijoong, but in turn he became somewhat of a dependable hyung for so many other young and bright eyed trainees. It made Hangyul feel quite lonely, knowing that most trainees assumed or thought he was far older than he really was as it kept him from automatically receiving the doting and affection he craved.

Once he was on the Love Shot team, Seungyoun and Wooseok had become his first older friends, and the trio had become so close that the pair had brought Hangyul into their little group of previously debuted trainees. 

Perhaps his heart may have started beating faster when Seungyoun led him into the room full of seniors, radiant smile melting away all of Hangyul’s fears. 

_ “Young or not, you deserve to be a part of our group! You know how it feels to be tossed in a show like this and debuting, hell, you’ve even been on another elimination show with our seniors too! That takes guts for sure!” _

It was like he found his place again. Seungwoo and Wooseok (surprisingly) constantly doted on him, while he found a group of fellow troublemakers in Byungchan, Kookheon, Yuvin, Jinhyuk, and of course, Seungyoun. Together, they made up a close knit group of trainees that knew the struggle and the hardship of being an idol, and knew the toll it took on such a show.

Long talks in the middle of the night with Seungyoun turned into cuddling sessions in Hangyul’s bed, legs and arms intertwined as they talked as if they were just friends. If their other friends and roommates ever noticed anything at all, they never said anything. 

Except for Dohyon, who would send judgemental stares when he would enter the room in search of either one of them and find the pair in bed together. He had pulled Hangyul aside one day, two days before the position evaluation, and confronted him.

“You like Seungyoun hyung don’t you,” he said, looking Hangyul in the eye with the utmost confidence. 

He simply raised a brow in response, replying, “And what makes you say that?” The teen rolled his eyes, taking no pause in sassing the other male. 

“You guys literally make googly eyes at each other and have some weird non-verbal communication thing between you guys,” he scoffed. “If that isn’t a clear indicator of a mutual crush or relationship then I don’t know what is.” 

Dohyon was always far too perceptive for his age, something that Hangyul usually too pride in boasting in a brotherly manner, but also meant that the teen could read people, namely Hangyul, like an open book.

“We’re just friends,” Hangyul sighed, fully wishing for his labelmate to drop the subject. Across from him, Dohyon merely narrowed his eyes, moving to block him from making a quick escape as usual. 

Hangyul groaned, halting before he slammed into the younger. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

“If you’re so smart, then why don’t you just keep your conclusions to yourself then?” Dohyon and Hangyul always had these types of little spats, and as annoying as it was, Hangyul actually loved having someone like a younger brother to tease and fight with occasionally. 

“Hyung, there’s this thing called ‘self acceptance’ and I am here to make  _ you _ admit that you’re in love with Seungyoun hyung. I know that you like him, now it’s your turn to realize that  _ you _ like him so you can tell  _ him _ that you like him and then we can all live happily ever after.”

“So what if I do like him?” Hangyul looked down at his feet, sighing as he settled down and leaned against the wall. “It’s not like he likes me back anyways.”

Dohyon grabbed Hangyul’s shoulders, giving them a slight shake. “He fucking likes you back, trust me hyung!”

“First of all,  _ language _ , second of all,” Hangyul pointed out the door to some unknown direction, “ _ he _ should be the one to ask me out if he likes me so much.”

The younger puffs out his cheeks in mild disbelief. “You’re so frustrating hyung!” Hangyul merely shrugged as he brushed past the taller boy and walked off into the hallway, heading off to practice. 

“Well let me know when you make another discovery about my love life, okay?” Hangyul called, waving as he walked away.

Dohyon can only yell back with conviction in his extremely loud screechy voice, “I swear on my entire snack collection that he likes you and that he’s going to ask you out!” 

  
  


Dohyon owed Hangyul a  _ lot _ of snacks. 

Instead of words, Seungyoun acted on impulse. He always ended up lingering closer to Hangyul during dance practices, constantly choosing to be the one to volunteer and help the dancer walk or fetch refreshments for him. Even Hangyul could tell that there was something growing between them.

Attraction? Definitely, but whether it was genuine or physical, Hangyul couldn’t figure out.

Did causal touches on the shoulder and waist mean anything at all?

Were the hands that wandered up his thighs as they cuddled together on Hangyul’s bed for another midnight talk a sign that Seungyoun felt the same way he did?

Sometimes, they’d kiss. Seungyoun would never say anything near the idea of liking Hangyul romantically. With slightly swollen lips, he would happily sigh, “Gyullie, you’re so damn cute.”

The rapper would wrap a hand into his hair and pull him closer. They’d sink deeper, hands exploring underneath shirts as their lips connected, soft and sensually. 

When they ran out of breath or heard an odd sound near the door, they’d break apart, rough breaths escaping their lips as they looked into each other’s eyes. Hangyul always wondered if Seungyoun could see his hidden feelings swimming in his eyes.

Hangyul assumed the other could read him like an open book, considering the other knew exactly how to push and pull to make the teen fall even deeper in love. Seungyoun’s eyes were sharp, calculating, yet never failed to have a bright sparkle that gave such wonderful life to his looks and personality. 

Occasionally, they’d take it farther; boundaries became blurred like a hazy dream when the two of them were around each other. 

Seungyoun was a like a vibrant flame in the night. His warmth was dizzying and addicting; Hangyul was the moth attracted to his inferno, the celestial body trapped in orbit around the blazing sun that was Seungyoun. 

The rapper burned the stage he performed on, and like his celebrity self he left firey trails on Hangyul’s hot skin wherever his gentle fingers trailed across sensitive areas. When Hangyul would shyly open his eyes through the haze of intense pleasure, Seungyoun’s piercing gaze would practically set him on fire. 

He’d close his eyes again, give his all to Seungyoun, and let the heat of their secret amorous activities consume him whole.

Frankly, Hangyul didn’t mind burning if it felt this good.

The morning after, the sun would grace their skin, gently warming up their tired bodies as Hangyul tiredly opened his eyes. 

Seungyoun would bid him a soft “good morning” and they’d cuddle for a bit longer, basking in the residual heat from their skin and from the warm streams of sunlight that bled through the curtains.

Hangyul would smile, ignoring the fact that he for some reason couldn’t bring himself to ask Seungyoun the words he so desperately wanted to hear the answer for.

He’d rather leave things unsaid on continue on with their charade instead of ruining the fantasy with his feelings.

They kissed in little alcoves, letting their lips fall into comfortable pecks, to full out makeout sessions. In the hallways, Seungyoun’s petite hands would always find themselves clasped in Hangyul’s larger ones. On dark, silent nights and non filming days, they slept together, bodies connected and sync with each other as they chased their own pleasure.

Seungyoun never uttered a word about love or like, but Hangyul continued to fall deeper in love with the elder. It was a fatal attraction from the start. 

_ “I think I’m in love with you. Do you feel the same?” _

  
  
  


They strolled along the dark streets, the area still quite empty as they were a little far from the main street. 

The chilly air made Hangyul shiver, and Jinhyuk cheekily swung his large jacket over the dancer. “Let’s walk a little fast,” he smiled, “I hope we get to the cafe quickly. I don’t want to see you cold like this.”

A little flush of red erupted across Hangyul’s cheeks; if anyone asked him why, he’d say it was because it was just cold as hell, not because he was literally starved of affection and loved being doted on.

“Don’t give me your jacket, hyung, I don’t want you to get cold either.” Hangyul made a move to take off the jacket as he turned his face away in embarrassment. The rapper could only smirk and wave his hands in refusal as he watched the younger’s reaction.

“It’s alright Hangyullie. It looks like you need the jacket more. Does Seungyoun not do these things for you?”

Face still tinted a light pink, Hangyul shook his head as he huffed, “We only did things like cuddle and hold hands… and that was only in the room. We haven’t even gone out with just the two of us. The last time I hung out was with Seungwoo hyung and Seungyoun, so we just acted like friends.”

“But you like the attention and affection, right?” Jinhyuk gave a small but toothy smile as he continued. “I’m the same too. I love being able to do a lot of skinship and know that Wooseok is only focusing on me- except he barely gives me the time of day as of late.”

“Seungyoun hasn’t done anything with me ever since the finals.” Hangyul dejectedly walked towards the little brightly lit cafe , Jinhyuk in tow. “When we’re together, alone in our room it feels like he’s just ignoring everything that happened between us.” 

Jinhyuk wrapped a comforting arm around Hangyul’s shoulders as he pulled them into a little booth. “Things can’t stay the same forever you know,” the rapper began, “I really think that in most cases, time is all we need to resolve shit like this.”

Hangyul’s brows furrowed at the little reference to Seungyoun’s tattoo, but still answered.

“I’ve spent all these months waiting for something,  _ anything, _ to happen, Hyung,” Hangyul whined, letting out a sigh as he looked out of the window beside them as he observed the couples who were milling about the streets.

“I know, I know,” he chuckled, making quick work to order a slice of cake and a kitten latte. “That’s why we’re doing  _ this _ right now. Something to tip the scale in our favor and give them a chance to act. We’ve both been waiting for the people we love to make the right move, except they keep making the wrong moves instead.”

“They’re fucking dumbasses,” Hangyul scoffed.

Jinhyuk gave a wry smile in return. “But then we would be the even bigger fools for loving them so much and letting them hurt us like this.”

A small frown erupted across Hangyul's face at the comment. Jinhyuk felt a little guilty, disliking how he had made the generally 

At his words, Hangyul’s face fell into a slight frown as he thought about the elder’s words. Jinhyuk in turn, frowned as well, displeased that he made the younger feel sad. 

“Don’t look so sad Hangyul,” Jinhyuk slid his arm across the table and comfortingly placed his hands on top of the dancer’s. 

The teen looked up from the table, “Hyung, we deserve better.” Their eyes met with a knowing glance.

It was true. They were both extremely tolerant people, but everyone had their limits when it came to love. Seungyoun and Wooseok were both dangerous people to be in love with. 

Seungyoun was unpredictable and seemingly unreachable. He was far too spontaneous, the type of person that needed to stay occupied and busy or he’d get bored. The same went for his love interests. Most of their friend group knew that Seungyoun was they type to date people just for the thrill, only to break up with them quickly after he realized they weren’t meant to be. 

Wooseok was a cold beauty. He seemed like he was too perfect for other people to even be around him. It was rare that people would be able to tolerate his sharp tongue like Jinhyuk was. He also placed himself before anything else, which meant that when Wooseok was hurt, he ran, and Jinhyuk would have to be the one to chase after him and console him.

Both of them were frankly lacking in the comfort aspect in relationships. They knew how to make people fall in love with them, but had trouble finding long term partners due to their personalities. 

“With the way things are, we both deserve people who would love and care for us with the same amount of love we give.” He chuckled, “Hell, if we were together, we’d be an amazing couple. I’d give you the world‒ hugs, hand holding, whatever you want, just tell me. You’re really an amazing kid Hangyul. Anyone would be lucky to date someone as emotionally aware and compassionate as you.”

The teen’s face gained the same faint blush from earlier. “Hyung, stop,” he whined, “you know I hate compliments.” Humble as ever, Hangyul still found it odd when people praised him. He didn’t think he was that much better than anyone else, but still chose to be grateful to those gave him those compliments.

“I know,” Jinhyuk smiled, leaning back in his seat, satisfied with how he embarrassed the other. “And you also know that I only give compliments when deserved so I’m not taking it back.”

A waitress came by and gently placed the little kitten decorated latte and the slice of cake on the table. 

Both Hangyul and Jinhyuk had taken out their phones to post their little date on social media. The rapper couldn’t help but smile was he took a video of Hangyul pointing at the foam kitten that was peeking over the edge of the cup. 

“What’s so funny,” Hangyul asked, tilting his head to the side and lightly furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

Jinhyuk shook his head as he chuckled, “Nothing. You’re just surprisingly adorable.”

“Are you saying I wasn’t adorable in the first place?” Hangyul looked slightly offended, playfully putting a hand to his chest as he looked at Jinhyuk in playful disbelief. 

For most of the trainees on Produce, Hangyul had never given them any intentional aegyo, considering he constantly felt like he was far too mature and rough looking. Only trainees older than him were able to see how playful and sweet he was. 

“No, just that I didn’t realize you were  _ this _ cute until now.” The rapper sent Hangyul a bright smile, scratching the back of his neck before grabbing the spoon and getting a piece of cake, bringing the utensil to his lips. “Now open up and eat this cake you baby.” 

The younger lit up as he happily ate the cake, eyes holding the innocent joy of a child that had boundless energy and curiosity. A smile was all Hangyul needed to dissolve his manly image. It softened his features brought a youthful glow to his character. 

Jinhyuk honestly envied such joy that came with youth. Time ran by fast, and well missed time flew by. He actually felt really bad for Hangyul: someone his age shouldn’t have been put in such emotional struggle. People Hangyul’s age had fun, went out to parties and didn’t have a care in the world. 

But before him was one of the admirable people Jinhyuk had ever met. Truly, Hangyul was someone who didn’t deserve all of the hardships he faced, yet the younger male could still smile so hopefully and brush off the pain he felt as a way to keep others from worrying. 

He wanted Hangyul to keep smiling, because he literally deserved the world. He made a little note in his mind to check up on Hangyul after the day was done and possibly send some threatening messages to Seungyoun to tell the other to get his life together.

“Is the cake good?” Hangyul sent the rapper an enthusiastic thumbs up as he dug into the cake. 

“It’s really good hyung!” the teen pushed the latte over to Jinhyuk, gesturing at him to drink it. “You should try some of the latte though! I feel guilty just eating everything.” 

Jinhyuk only smiled in return, declining the offer. “I don’t drink coffee remember?”

“Shit,” The other cursed before pulling the little cup closer to himself. “I guess I’ll be drinking this then.”

The rapper couldn’t stop himself from taking a video of Hangyul as he took a sip of his drink, foam ending up on his top lip in an adorable white moustache. 

They found themselves near the Han river, casually strolling along the grassy edge that was dimly lit by the multiple light posts that littered the sidewalk. There were a few people milling about, but it was only around nine in the evening, so the night was still young. Out of the corner of his eyes, Jinhyuk noticed a few people who recognized them and looked at them in awe.

Hangyul gingerly held a bag from the convenience store in one of his hands, trying to find a good spot for the pair to sit down so they could eat the little snacks and finger foods that they bought. Even after two meals, the dancer still seemed to be quite hungry, so Jinhyuk didn’t hesitate to take one of Hangyul’s hands in his and drag them into a little convenience store.

The rapper just couldn’t ignore how cheerful the other looked as he perused through the aisles in search of things they could snack on by the river. Hangyul had instantly went for the rice balls and gimbap, happily grabbing one of each kind and adding it to their basket. 

Jinhyuk had opted to grab some instant ramen and tteokbokki, being careful not to grab anything too spicy so Hangyul could still enjoy the food. On the way to the cash register, he noticed that he was in the liquor aisle, pausing to take a look at the sheer amount of cans and bottles that they sold. 

Though he wasn’t a drinker himself (for the sake of his health), he figured maybe the younger would appreciate being able to let loose for a night and unwind with a nice can of beer by the river as they ate and talked about life. 

The sounds of Hangyul calling for him shook him out of his trance, causing him to grab a bottle of beer and slide it into his basket before he continued towards the register. Turning the corner bought him to the sight of the younger eagerly waiting for him by the register.

Seeing the teen only made the Jinhyuk smile, which was a wonder as the rapper had paid a terribly large amount for Hangyul’s food already. And even if his wallet hurt, every single bill was absolutely worth the carefree smile that adorned Hangyul’s face.

Perhaps they  _ were  _ deprived of affection. 

As they continued on their journey to find a good spot to settle down and eat their food, Hangyul had finally noticed that their hands were connected, Jinhyuk’s slender fingers intertwined with Hangyul’s. He unconsciously tightened his grip on the rapper’s hand and Jinhyuk only reciprocated as he started to playfully swing their hands in time with the steps. 

He was prompted by Jinhyuk’s grasp to join him in sitting on a nice path of grass that gave them a stunning view of the river and the lights of the city that glittered across the edge of the water like a galaxy of shimmering stars. In an instant, he was seated on the ground, sitting with his legs stretched out to match Jinhyuk’s.

“Isn’t the view nice today?” Jinhyuk nodded as he gazed longingly across the edge of the water, the pools of his normally dark brown eyes reflecting a shade akin to amber honey. 

Hangyul too, was peacefully admiring the waters as well, until he suddenly grabbed the can of beer from the bag and popped the top open, taking a long sip in silence.

Alarmed, Jinhyuk put a hand to his shoulder, exclaiming, “Shit! Hangyullie what’s wrong?”

The teen kept his eyes glued to the water, muttering, “Seungyoun would have loved to take pictures of this scene.”

The elder could tell that sadly once again, Hangyul’s spirits were brought down by thoughts of Seungyoun. He quickly got a hold of the beer and with a little struggle against the dancer’s strong grip, Jinhyuk was able to relinquish the can from his hold. 

“First of all,” he started off, pointedly ignoring Hangyul’s little whine of irritation and protest of having his alcohol taken away, “I bought the alcohol to help you celebrate and let loose after your debut, not for you to drown your sorrows in it.”

“And second of all, this is a me and you day. ” He wrapped an arm around Hangyul and pulled him close so that they were sitting side by side, and the dancer was leaning on Jinhhyuk’s shoulder. “So no more being sad over Seungyoun anymore, okay?”

Only until Hangyul shyly nodded did Jnhyuk continue. “Trust me when I say things can only get better. You’ve just debuted and I already know you’re going to shine so bright.”

“I still can’t believe it’s all happening,” Hangyul breathed out, leaning closer into Jinhyuk’s half embrace. “It’s honestly more than I could ever imagine but at the same time not what I was expecting.”

The rapper gently handed Hangyul one of the rice balls in comfort. “I guess I know what you’re saying,” he said, taking a bite, “I still can’t believe I’m this popular even though I didn’t make the cut for X1. I really thought it was the end of the road for me, that I’d be silently supporting Wooseok from the sidelines and just spending more time with my team members.”

“I’ve been wanting this so much as well. You know the Unit was basically a dumpster fire for me because nothing really took off for me like it did for you.”

“But you made some great friends,” Jinhyuk interjected, “didn’t you?”

Hangyul wistfully smiled, seemingly thinking about some of the dear friends he made on the show “I did.”

“Then it was worth it.”

“I guess I was just expecting something…  _ else _ . You know?” Hangyul trailed off, taking small sips of the beer that he reclaimed from Jinhyuk. “Maybe I thought instead of cheers from fans and instant success all I really wanted was to debut with Seungyoun.”

The rapper nodded along with Hangyul’s words as he continued on, “Call me ungrateful or whatever, but I guess I realized that I wanted to debut less for fulfilling my dreams, but more to finally be an equal to Seungyoun. I wouldn’t be the sad little trainee that was going to watch him debut and leave me behind as I go back to my hellhole of a company to just never see the light of day again.”

“It’s real now. We can stand on equal ground and team members.” He frustratingly sighed as he took another drink from the can, placing it to the side once he finished it. “Maybe I’m just hoping that he’ll finally get his head out of his ass and notice me now that we’re going to be in this group together for the next five years.”

Jinhyuk gave him a comforting squeeze from the arm wrapped around the younger’s shoulder. “Trust me when I say after tonight, he’ll definitely make a move to work things out.”

“How can you be so sure?” Hangyul asked, inquisitively raising an eyebrow and Jinhyuk’s confidence.

“Jealousy makes men realize all their wrongs, and Wooseok and Seungyoun will definitely feel the heat, we just need to get their blood boiling even more.” The elder smirked, continuing on, “If you haven’t noticed, I’m pretty sure that aside from my stories, people have been posting and taking pictures of us hanging out.”

It was true. If either of them would have checked twitter, they would have seen that they were the hot topic right after X1’s long awaited debut. People posted pictures of them at every point in their ‘date’ and gushed over how adorable or well fit the pair were. It was basically impossible for anyone with a phone to not know about the two of them. 

“They stopped texting us though,” Hangyul pointed out, possibly not believing that they could really pull something like this off. 

The rapper took a little moment to dwell in his thoughts before pulling out his phone and replying. “ I wonder how Seungyoun and Wooseok would feel if you asked in the groupchat if i could spend the night over.” 

_ ‘So that’s how they were going to play,’  _ the dancer thought, genuinely hoping that the events of the day would be enough to finally tip the scale and get Seungyoun’s eyes on him for a change.

[X1 Hags]

**Hangyul:** everyones going out or staying with their families right

**Seungwoo: ** yeah the dorms empty today

**Yohan:** lol why though

**Hangyul:** is it okay if jinhyuk hyung stays the night with me

**Seungwoo:** just dont make a mess and its fine

**Hangyul: **alright

_ [Seen by : Seungwoo, Yohan, Hangyul, Wooseok, Seungyoun] _

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyways, hit me up @hanyuwu if you want to be friends or cry about seungyul & please comment what you think's going to happen next / how you feel heheh


	3. Chapter 3

Jinhyuk was bold as all hell.

The moment Hangyul sent the text, the rapper stood up, grabbing hold of the younger’s warm hands with his slender ones as he pulled the other to stand alongside him. Hangyul was quite embarrassed as he stood up, feeling a little lightheaded and unsteady on his feet, probably due to the effects of the beer he drank.

Noticing the slight sway in the younger’s posture, Jinhyuk merely smiled, kindly reaching down to pick up the long forgotten bag of convenience store food so that Hangyul wouldn’t have to. “You’re a little tipsy?” He questioned, being sure to keep eye contact with the teen to make sure he was still aware of their surroundings. 

“I think I’m just buzzed,” Hangyul replied, voice sounding a tad more sluggish than usual. “I probably shouldn’t have drank so quickly.” Shaking his head, he continued to reassure the elder. “I think I’ll be fine though, so don’t worry about me too much Hyung.”

Keeping his gaze the tall elder gave Hangyul a tight lipped smile. “I can’t help but worry about you Hangyul,” he grabbed the younger’s hand and intertwined their fingers, “you’re someone that people just can’t help but dote on. So damn innocent and loveable.”

“Is that a confession I’m hearing?” Perhaps the teen was a little more than just buzzed, alcohol giving him the confidence that he normally lacked; the blush on his face now indistinguishable from the light pink flush he got from consuming alcohol.

“Maybe.” At the teen’s raised eyebrow and curious countenance Jinhyuk simply sent one of his million dollar smiles and tugged on their connected hands, prompting Hangyul to follow him as they set off on dim streets in the direction of the dorm. “I’ll give you a real answer once we get back to the dorm and you’ve sobered up a little bit.”

Hangyul pouted, face so effortlessly endearing that Jinhyuk almost caved in right then and there. “I swear I’m fine right now Hyung, just tell me.” Hangyul totally didn’t trip over an imaginary stone on the ground, quickly stumbling before Jinhyuk pulled him upright again. 

“Stop being so cute Hangyul,” Jinhyuk gave an exasperated sigh as he continued to navigate them through the familiar path that he used to take whenever Wooseok would call him over. Passing by the little cafe in a secluded corner reminded Jinhyuk of all the times he would trudge in the cold of night at Wooseok’s every beck and call. He’d always buy Wooseok his favorite pastry when he passed by and leave it on Wooseok’s nightstand after the younger would tell him to leave.

Jinhyuk had only ever encountered a drunk Hangyul once before. It was during the show when the already debuted trainees were able to have a casual kickback in their dorm room. At the time, Hangyul merely crawled into bed and silently fell asleep, surprisingly not joining in on the chaotic storm that a drunk Yuvin and Byungchan were creating.

It seemed as if Jinhyuk was learning all sorts of things about Hangyul today, seeing as the teen before him was easily following him, yet far more clingy than usual, something he concluded from the way that Hangyul insisted to hold onto Jinhyuk with not one, but two hands. 

He made sure to slow down his steps as he noticed Hangyul’s hands pulling his arm back closer to him. The dancer was slightly swaying in his steps, having a little difficulty in following Jinhyuk’s hurried pace. 

“Hyung!” Hangyul complained, “Slow down! I hate how you’re so fucking tall!”

Jinhyuk turned to the younger, in feigned surprise. “You hate me?”

The dancer merely pouted, eyes glued to the ground as he trailed behind. “You’re just like Seungyoun,” he frowned, “so fucking tall that I always have to walk fast because you both have stupidly long legs and I’m just fucking short-”

Hangyul’s rant was cut off by Jinhyuk stopping in his tracks, turning around to face Hangyul as he grabbed the younger’s hands, making them face each other. 

“Hangyullie, don’t compare me to Seungyoun, okay?” Jinhyuk’s voice had taken on an icy edge, sharp tone cutting through the silence of the night. “I think I’m a lot better than that dumbass.”

Something about getting compared to the man who made Hangyul so distraught made the rapper frown. Jinhyuk wasn’t like that. He actually had some emotional awareness when it came to others unlike _ some _ people. 

“Okay I won’t,” Hangyul replied as be tightened his grip on Jinhyuk’s hands. “I just really wanna get home.” His eyes suddenly shot up to meet Jinhyuk’s, eyes brightening up with another thought. “We can watch a movie and eat snacks and just have a good time!”

Giving a warm smiled, the elder responded, “Anything you want okay?” He let go of one of Hangyul’s hands, going back to leading them towards the dorm. “Just promise me you’ll hold on to my hand and follow me okay?”

At the adorably enthusiastic nods that came from the younger, Jinhyuk was at ease again knowing that they would arrive at the dorm very soon. He continued along the streets, winding through dimly lit paths that he could navigate with his eyes closed. 

Hangyul’s hand fit so well in his, and the slight warmth that radiated from the younger’s skin made the trip back to the dorm seemed almost like a blessing. 

Jinhyuk felt like he was eighteen again: remembering the familiar joy of exploring the streets of Seoul at night with Wooseok when they were just wide eyed and hopeful trainees. But this was Hangyul’s hand he was holding, not Wooseok’s delicate but strong hands that he always held back then. 

They walked up the familiar stairs that led up to the X1 dorm, the younger now taking the lead as they approached the door. Hangyul had quickly gotten them inside, kicking off his shoes near the shoe rack as he dragged the other into his room.

The first thing that Jinhyuk noticed upon entering the room was how well decorated it was. It didn’t take a fool to see the influence of Seungyoun everywhere in the room. From the instruments in the studio section of the room, to the purple LED lights, to the tasteful and aesthetic posters that they hung on the wall, it was obvious that the rapper lived in the room.

Hangyul’s presence in the room was far more subtle. Jinhyuk could tell that most of the cleanliness and organization came from the younger, remembering how Hangyul always did the laundry and dutifully did chores when they were on Produce. The sheets in the room were immaculate and well kept.

It was ironic, thinking about how the pair made such a good couple. Not only did they match in energy, they had great visual balance between Hangyul’s masculine yet boyish charms and Seungyoun’s tall and sophisticated look. Hell, even their room was another example. Hangyul was the order to Seungyoun’s creative chaos, the ray of light that pierced through the darkness.

Such a shame though, that Seungyoun seemed to not see just how suited Hangyul was for him. That Hangyul would silently pine and suffer as the elder lived happily and carefree as ever. 

“Do you want to cuddle and watch a movie while we wait for Seungyoun and Wooseok to come rushing in after us?” The elder was just a bit shocked at how collected Hangyul sounded, traces of the effects of alcohol completely gone. 

“Did you sober up already?” In the span of the short walk, the younger had lost the faint red flush that previously adorned his cheeks, now seemingly immaculate, as if he had never had anything to sip at all. 

The teen chuckled in response, “I didn’t really have that much anyways, but I’m seriously craving cuddles right now Hyung.” 

Jinhyuk nodded, “So you’re asking me to Netflix and chill right now?” The joking smirk on his face was unmistakable, and his joke helped to lighten the mood between the two. 

“In a very innocent way,” the younger replied, “Yes I am.” Hangyul threw a stray blanket at the rapper as he pointed to a bed with light blue sheets. “That’s my bed, so go get comfy while I change.”

Hangyul made quick work of his outfit, changing into an oversized hoodie (Jinhyuk suspected that it belonged to Seungyoun but he kept quiet) and a pair of black basketball shorts. He tossed a spare shirt and a pair of shorts at the man on the bed, gesturing for Jinhyuk to change as well. 

By the time they had both changed and settled into Hangyul’s bed, Hangyul had thrown a large, fluffy blanket over the pair of them as he turned on the TV. 

“Anything you want to watch?” The teen asked, casually browsing through the directory as he cuddled closer to Jinhyuk, trying to take more body heat from the elder. “I’m fine with anything, really, so it’s going to be your choice today.”

Jinhyuk smiled, reciprocating Hangyul’s cuddles. “Then how about Frozen?” The younger raised a playful eyebrow.

“How many times have you seen this movie?” It was well known that Jinhyuk was somewhat of a Frozen fanatic. During the show, when he wasn’t practicing, the other trainees would constantly see his long limbs stuffed into an Olaf onesie. 

Hangyul could distinctly remember Dohyon running to him in the night, claiming that he had seen a tall, white spirit haunting the halls of the dorms, but the tired teen assured his younger friend that it was probably just Jinhyuk. 

For some reason, Jinhyuk pretended as if everything was okay as he answered. “Only like 400 times.” The younger recoiled, looking at him in shock.

“_ Only _ 400 times? _ ” _

Jinhyuk laughed as he went and selected the movie, “Okay fine, not 400, but I honestly can’t remember how many times I’ve watched it.”

"I actually have never watched Frozen before," Hangyul added as pulled another large fluffy blanket over them, enveloping them in a warm little pile on the bed. "How amazing is this movie on a scale of one to ten?"

The elder scoffed, acting as if Hangyul offended him by having the audacity to ask him such a question. "Definitely an eleven, or even one hundred!"

The younger raised an eyebrow, clearly doubting the power of a children's movie. "You have a lot of confidence in this movie, hyung." Though Hangyul loved going out and seeing movies, he had never actually seen Frozen, merely thinking that it was probably just another kids movie that wouldn’t catch his eye. 

Somewhere along the lines of their banter, Jinhyuk's long arm had fully wrapped around Hangyul, pulling him close as he replied, "This movie is so good that when Frozen 2 comes out you'll definitely watch it at least 3 times."

Hangyul rolled his eyes as he settled against the elder, turning to face the TV as the melodic soundtrack of the movie began to play. “Sure I will.” 

The pair chose to ignore the fact that they were both awaiting the arrival of Seungyoun and Wooseok, instead choosing to focus on the movie to calm their restless thoughts. 

Of course, the movie was enjoyable, but the longer the watched, the more anxious the pair became. Hues of ice blue and wondrous music resounded through the room, and yet, the pit of Hangyul’s stomach seemed to twist even more as every second passed. 

Jingyuk’s hand came to wrap around Hangyul’s tightening as if to give him strength and to ground him. “Hyung,” he whispered, “Do you think they’re even going to come?”

“They will.” Yet even Jinhyuk himself seemed to lose faith in his own words. If it were Wooseok waiting for him, he would have been there first, he would have ran there to set things straight, he would make sure that Wooseok _ knew _ that he was serious about him. But perhaps Wooseok just didn’t value him in the same way. 

And that hurt, trying to digest the fact made his stomach turn and his arms itch in a nervous bout. Five years of knowing each other only to be paid in dust. _ Great. _

Screen long forgotten, Jinhyuk and Hangyul sat on the bed, silently lamenting their situation, hoping and praying for the moment that the people they loved would walk through the door. Every second felt like an eternity, excruciatingly long moments, tentative glances at the door and at their phones for any sign of the others. 

“Hyung,” Hangyul said, voice slightly wavering as he composed himself, “I don’t think they’re coming.”

The elder sighed, pulling Hangyul in for a warm embrace from under the blanket. “It’ll be okay, trust me.” He wasn’t sure if he was consoling Hangyul, or if his words were just to reassure himself that there was still hope. 

“No, it’s not okay.” Hangyul’s frame practically sank into the bed with dejection. Maybe Hangyul should have known that Seungyoun wasn’t going to love him back, maybe he shouldn’t have been so damn _ stupid _. “I should have quite while I was ahead, I should have never gotten my hopes up, I-”

Jinhyuk had pulled Hangyul’s head to his chest, effectively halting his self depreciating rant by muffling the younger. “Hangyul, listen to me.”

“Don’t look down on yourself so much.” The elder said, voice reaching a serious and low tone. “You’re amazing. You’re so damn hard working and genuine. Seungyoun’s a fool if he can’t see that. If he won’t treasure you, then I will.”

“Hyung..” Hangyul trailed off, uncertainty clear in his voice as he looked away, trying to muster up an appropriate response to Jinhyuk’s high praise.

“Be mine?” They both froze, bated breath halted as Jinhyuk waited for a response, and Hangyul attempted to come up with one.

“Jinhyuk,” Hangyul whispered against his chest, voice trailing off with what could only be described as sorrow, “I love Seungyoun.”

The elder scoffed. “So what? I know I love Wooseok, but I also know that he’s a heartbreaker. Seungyoun’s one too. We both signed up for pain the moment we fell in love.”

“Then why did you suggest something between us?”

Jinhyuk brought a hand to Hangyul’s face, brushing away a few stray hairs before caressing his cheek and tilting his face to meet his eyes. Jinhyuk’s type would forever be Wooseok, but he couldn’t help but admire just how stunning Hangyul was from that angle.

Beautiful tanned skin and eyes that seemed to hold the entire world consumed his field of view. Hangyul was not at all lacking when it came to visuals. He had strong features that people envied, but also a softness to his face that was unmistakably attractive. 

“I’m saying that yes, we may be in love with two other people, but if they’ll never love us back, then I want to be the one that makes you smile. I’ll be the one that will take you on all the damn dates Seungyoun’s promised you.”

Hangyul held Jinhyuk’s warm gaze, from his embrace, the teen could clearly hear the elder’s heart speeding up, and perhaps his was doing the same. “I’ll never be Wooseok, and you’ll never be Seungyoun.”

“Hangyullie, I’m saying I’m ready to make room in my heart for you.” The elder whispered, voice barely heard by the other. “Won’t you give me that chance?”

At this point, Hangyul’s heart was racing, feeling as if he had just run a marathon, breathless with shock and wonder of the elder’s confession. Thoughts ran through his mind at almost a mile a minute, thinking of all the times he’s been let down and all the times he’s cried his eyes out over Seungyoun.

“Hyung,” he trailed off, seemingly looking for words that became lost in his mind. “Promise me you won’t ever hurt me?”

“I’’d never hurt you Hangyul.” Jinhyuk’s voice held a loving confidence, words sending a flush of warmth and security over the teen. Hangyul didn’t even realize it, but their faces were so close to each other, and he could practically see the stars in Jinhyuk’s eyes.

It called into question, when did Seungyoun ever look at him with such adoration and love like Jinhyuk did? When did Seungyoun ever promise him the world and more? When did Hangyul ever feel so comfortable and confident with someone?

Perhaps he was irrevocably in love with Seungyoun, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t let Jinhyuk in as well. 

“Hyung.”

Jinhyuk’s gaze held true, sending a wave of fondness through him unlike the piercing burn he usually felt from Seungyoun. “Yes Hangyul?”

“Kiss me.”

And their lips met in a chaste kiss, a mix of adoration, fear, heartbreak, and hope in between them. They kissed cautiously and softly, afraid of what their actions meant, yet they continued. It was soft and innocent and yet it felt so liberating to feel loved for once. 

They were two broken hearts that found each other; people who knew only of being hurt. And although they weren’t with the ones they dedicated their hearts to, they still let themselves sink deeper into the kiss and into each other.

It was always better drowning in unrequited love together than alone.

  
  


The door opened, and chaos entered. 

  
  


It was like a scene from a movie: time seemed to slow down as Jinhyuk and Hangyul continued to kiss, their eyes now closed, seemingly unaware of their unexpected guests. Somewhere along the lines, Jinhyuk had pressed Hangyul against the bed, making things far more intimate. 

It was only when their lips parted when they realized they weren’t as alone as they thought, snapping their heads to the doorway, where Wooseok and Seungyoun stood, visibly shaken up by what they saw. The disbelief was clear; maybe they didn’t realize that Jinhyuk and Hangyul would ever look at someone other than them.

The two on the bed were frozen in their cold stares, and their position was far more suggestive than it seemed to be from the other view. They were under a blanket, and unless it was taken off, anyone would believe that it was a terribly compromising scene.

To no surprise, it was the cold beauty, Wooseok who broke the silent stand off by yelling at Jinhyuk. 

_ “Lee Jinhyuk, are you cheating on me?” _

Ah, right. Jinhyuk frowned at the word choice, pulling Hangyul up and letting the blanket fall so that Wooseok and Seungyoun could see that it wasn’t as bad as they thought and that at the very least, their clothes were still on.

“It’s not cheating if we’re not together anymore.”

He could tell that his words cut like a knife through Wooseok’s normally calm countenance. He faltered, before anger flashed over his face. _ “What do you mean we aren’t together anymore? _”

Jinhyuk kind of felt like he was facing a final boss in one of his video games; reaching a moment of climax where he, the hero, would have to muster all of his courage and stand his ground against the enemy that used to defeat him every time.

Yes, this time, _ he _ held the cards, not Wooseok. 

He was done trying to follow Wooseok’s every beck and call. Jinhyuk wanted Wooseok to feel the pain and heartbreak that he felt all these weeks, to make the younger wake up and realize that he would have to work to get him back.

“Weren’t you the one who said that we weren’t dating anymore, and that it didn’t matter?” He stood up, positively towering over Wooseok, watching the younger’s countenance, waiting to see what type of expressions would he see flash across beautiful eyes. 

It seemed as if his harsh words worked. Wooseok looked panicked, as if the walls were caving in on them yet he still tried to seem as if he was okay. Jinhyuk’s heart lurched at the sight, but it felt good to see Wooseok hurt for once. He really shouldn’t have felt so pleased, especially considering the younger looked to be seconds from crying. 

Ashamed, Wooseok looked at the ground, intent on hiding the tears that threatened to roll down his face. His hands were clenched at his side, so tightly that his arms trembled as the seconds passed. 

The visual felt like a fool. Words were always his undoing: he coped with stress by using his sharp tongue to hurt others and protect himself. Jinhyuk was the anomaly, the one who smiled even as Wooseok spilled poisonous words from his lips, the one who Wooseok thought would never leave him. 

When Jinhyuk and Hangyul left from the show con venue, he pretended to be okay, smiling at Seungyoun and suggesting that they go out and eat by themselves. He constantly glanced at his phone while they ate, Seungyoun doing the same. The lack of instant ecstatic replies from Jinhyuk made him feel empty, and then all the damn photos from fans who saw Jinhyuk and Hangyul outside had bombarded his phone. 

Wooseok was jealous when he saw how happy and carefree Jinhyuk looked with Hangyul. The ugly feeling made him want to run away, something he always did whenever he felt overwhelmed by his feelings. 

So maybe he came too late because of his shitty coping methods, forgetting that he broke Jinhyuk’s heart first. He ran, because it was so much easier to ignore problems than face the cold hard truth.

Of course he fucked it all up. It was only typical. Tolerant as Jinhyuk was, they finally reached the point were even the tall male couldn’t take it anymore. He always thought Jinhyuk _ knew _. That Jinhyuk loved him no matter what bullshit he ended up saying.

Wooseok was scared, blood running cold the moment he saw the two of them, Jinhyuk on top of Hangyul, the pair of them kissing like it was their last. His stomach twisted, because that should have been _ him _. It was a nightmare come true, the one person he loved finally leaving him and looking so happy with someone that wasn’t him.

“I never meant it like that,” he whispered, voice wavering as he couldn’t face Jinhyuk. “Jinhyuk, I l-love you so much, you c-can’t do this to me-” 

Jinhyuk sighed, looking disappointed yet relieved at the same time as he grabbed Wooseok’s wrist and turned to the two that were still frozen while watching the entire exchange. “I think we should fix this between ourselves,” he said, already at the doorway of Hangyul’s room. “You guys should really talk as well, and if he breaks your heart Hangyul, you already know I’m here for you.”

Jinhyuk pretended like he didn’t see the look of irritation and offense that adorned Seungyoun’s face at his words, choosing send a small but genuine smile at Hangyul before they disappeared off into the hallway with Wooseok, presumably towards Wooseok’s room. 

And then there were two. 

“Seungyoun.” The younger’s voice was just a low whisper, yet it quickly demanded the attention of the rapper, Seungyoun walking up to the bed where Hangyul sat, never taking his eyes off of him. 

He paused in front of the mattress, hesitation clear in his posture, unsure if Hangyul would let him sit down or not. “Hangyul,” he started, “I-”

Clearly irritated, at the elder, Hangyul sighed, “Just sit down, okay?” 

The all arounder wordlessly followed Hangyul’s words, settling near, but not too close to the dancer who sat amidst blankets and pillows that were scattered across the bed. 

If Seungyoun’s gaze was a fire, then Hangyul’s was icy cold: unforgiving and sharp. Even if the younger felt as if he was going to explode with anger and frustration, he pushed it down, keeping his eyes on the rapper as he watched him nervously sized up Hangyul. 

“If we didn’t come,” Seungyoun questioned, pausing in what seemed to be fear before continuing, “would you have gone all the way with him?”

Hangyul’s gaze held Seungyoun’s, unwavering even with the sudden accusation. “Yes,” he said, without any hesitation in his voice at all. 

He lied, but Seungyoun didn’t need to know that. He wanted Seungyoun to hurt, to know how it felt to be disregarded and downright rejected by someone that they loved, that is, if Seungyoun really _ did _ love him. 

It was a cold stab to the heart for sure, a low blow, even, and something about how Hangyul answered so quickly that made Seungyoun’s stomach turn. The Hangyul that was beside him was nothing like that sweet, humorous and bright person that he learned to like through the trials and tribulations of Produce.

He was Hangyul’s first. He wanted to be Hangyul’s _ only _. 

“What?” The elder was in shock, considering Hangyul was one that always acted with his heart. “You’re not the type to just sleep around with people like that.” Hangyul was better than that, a kind soul who made people fall in love and valued his body and signs of physical affection.

Hangyul scoffed at the words, “I thought you weren’t the type to lead people on, but here we are.” His normally warm a jovial eyes were frigid. “And if you wanted to know when I changed, I learned it all from _ you _.”

“When the hell did I lead you on?” The all arounder’s face screamed pure confusion, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to think of any point in time when he played with Hangyul’s feelings. They were obviously attracted to one another: they kissed, had sex, and spent so much time together. What was there to question?

The younger tried not to cry at the words, face heating up. “So you really don’t know, huh,” he shook his head in disbelief. Could someone really be so dense? Did Seungyoun just treat everyone like this them?

Leave it to the great Cho Seungyoun to spend months stringing Hangyul along like a fool, only to admit that he didn’t think he was doing anything malicious at all. Honestly, it was so absurd that Hangyul was torn between letting tears out or laughing at the sheer stupidity of himself. 

_ “Seungyoun,” _ Hangyul said again, his voice low and serious as he commanded the attention of the elder with ease, “What am I to you?”

“We’re…” He trailed off, at a loss for words in the moment as he realized he _ couldn’t _ define what they were. How could he tell Hangyul that he treasured him so much, and loved him to the very core?

It was frustrating really, having so many emotions and not being able to express them properly. The words he tried so dearly to express got caught midway in his throat, perhaps stuck on the building tension and panic that rose from his gut all the way up as he attempted to answer. 

“Of course you can’t answer,” Hangyul decided to speak, seeing as Seungyoun was frozen where he sat. “You can’t get it straight and be forward with me. Maybe I should have made the first move and asked you upfront, but you’re the first person I’ve loved like this, and I didn’t know how to approach you. I was shy and gullible like the dumb teenager that I am.”

The elder’s eyes widened, realizing that Hangyul was confessing to him. “Hangyul, I-”

“I’m not done yet.”

Seungyoun quickly recoiled and stopped talking, letting Hangyul continue. 

“I feel deep. I did everything and anything that you wanted.” The bitter smile that graced Hangyul’s handsome features seemed so out of place. Seungyoun hated seeing him like that, hated seeing him sad and broken. 

“You never told me what we were. I was so dumb and In love that I let you keep hurting me. And I just never told you how much it hurt to see you with other people. I felt like a fucking joke, like I was just the person you fucked in secret and then ignored until you finally needed another fix.”

It all clicked into place in Seungyoun’s mind. _ So that’s what Hangyul meant by leading him on. _

He was never a person for words, assuming that everything was clear between them, but obviously, he was mistaken. They were the jokers of the group. Seungyoun never thought that his teasing moments with other members made Hangyul feel like he was being disregarded. 

Or maybe, a part of him really did know of Hangyul’s feelings, and kept pushing it because it felt so good to know that Hangyul would be there. A reassurance that he was always loved, and that Hangyul be there for him, but was he there Hangyul?

“Sometimes I forget that you’re only nineteen,” Seungyoun’s voice was a mere whisper, soft voice heavy with regret. “You’re so damn strong that I forget that _ I’m _ the elder. Hangyul, I’m so sorry for everything, for not being stronger, for being the one that ran away.”

The younger stood up. “Cut the crap.” 

Hangyul easily cut off Seungyoun’s apology, too far in his emotions and his rant to really give a damn about what the all arounder wanted to say. All he could think about was his damn feelings for Seungyoun, and how much he was hurt over the past few months. 

“I’m hurt. I’m fucking tired of never getting anything back in return. Do you know how many times I’ve cried over you?”

Silence. 

“I hate that I love you so much, that you’re the dream that I wished for all this time, that you were the only one that I wanted all this time.” Hangyul was crying at this point, voice raised and aimed at the elder who sat frozen on the bed. 

“Gyul,” Seungyoun started, trying to calm him down, alarmed by the wet tears that glistened as they ran down Hangyul’s cheeks. “Please don’t cry, I’m here for you now.” He captured wet cheeks between his hands, pulling Hangyul’s face into the crook of his neck as he embraced him. 

He let the younger wet his shirt in tears, though usually he would make a fuss about getting his treasured clothing covered in tears and snot, he deserved it. He deserved to hurt, because even if the man of his dreams had just confessed to him, _ he _ was the one that ruined him, _ he _ was the one that didn’t see everything. _ A blind fool. _

Seungyoun knew, only he could save Hangyul, only he could tell him the words that Hangyul needed to hear the most: 

_ “I love you” _

But life wasn’t easy. Hangyul was crying in his arms, practically asking to be loved and to be saved, and yet, those three damn words just couldn’t leave his lips. 

“Hangyul,” expectant eyes met his, and something inside of him froze. _ Typical. _Losing his words right when he needed them most. Seungyoun felt like he was stuck in sleep paralysis: mind reeling with all his thoughts and cries, but no matter how much he screamed and yelled from the depths of his mind, he couldn’t reach reality. 

He was drowning, not in his own dark thoughts like he used to, back when he was lost and had no idea what his future would be. No, this time, the future was obvious, spelled out for him the moment his named was called on the night of the finale. 

The future was Hangyul, the future was X1, but no matter what path he took, he still found himself drowning. This time, he was sinking down with Hangyul in his arms, consumed by how much they loved each other and how much they needed each other.

Seungyoun needed to swim, to reach the light above so that he could break the surface and finally scream from his core just how much he loved Hangyul. 

But what was in his way? Was it the fear of messing things up? Of having Hangyul end up as another tragic end to another chapter of his life? Or was it fear that he could be ending both of their careers by admitting his own feelings?

_ Like his career even mattered, _ he derisively scoffed in his mind, still trapped in his thoughts, still with the warm presence of Hangyul in his arms, fingers clutching his shirt so intensely, as if Seungyoun would disappear if he let go. 

He wouldn’t leave. He would never leave, because Hangyul was worth it. 

Hangyul was worth the tears, worth the pain, worth the nagging fear that they would be caught, because at the end of the day, the younger’s smile was all that it took to chase away the poison that seeped in the corners of his mind. 

So Seungyoun swam upwards, towards the glistening edge of the water, letting the weight of his inhibitions slip from his body. 

Breaking the surface was a dizzying feeling: the rush of all the senses and emotions going haywire, but Seungyoun knew what he had to do, finally grounded to reality and out of his head. 

Desperate hands gently wrapped around Hangyul, letting Seungyoun feel the little sobs that still made Hangyul’s body shudder erratically. A deep breath collected his thoughts, collected his composure as Seungyoun tried again.

“Hangyul, listen to me, okay?”

Hangyul had moved back, face looking ethereal in the low light, giving Seungyoun his full attention. 

_ “I love you, and I’m so sorry it took me this long to say it.” _

Hot tears began rolling down Hangyul’s face once again, this time joined by Seungyoun’s as well. 

“I love you so much, and I promise that I’ll give you everything, even if I’m a coward, even if I keep fucking up. I love you so much that I can’t even express it in words. I write songs about you, I hide them in my notebook, you’re my muse-”

Soft lips captured his, and suddenly Hangyul was in his lap, like nothing had changed when in fact, _ everything _ had changed. This was real, not some uneasy status quo that they kept up for the sake of appearances and insecurity. Hangyul was real, Seungyoun was real, and they loved each other and needed each other. 

Seungyoun wasn’t assuming that Hangyul felt the same anymore, he _ knew _ Hangyul loved him, feeling the warmth of his body flush against his, and the warmth of his emotions seeping through as well.

Hangyul wasn’t in the darkness anymore: he had Seungyoun under him, heart beating just as erratically as his, hands just as desperate as his, _ love just as deep as his. _

They didn’t need words to know that they were hopelessly in love with each other. 

Hot breaths filled the air as they broke apart. The kiss was desperate, nowhere near the ones they shared while succumbed to the throes of their lust, but filled with love, kissing as if it was their last, attempting to convey far too many feelings in one go, but perhaps it was their first _ real _ kiss. 

They were still crying, tears streamed down their faces as they took in each other’s appearance. 

A fucking mess, really, with their red faces, crumpled clothing and dishevled hair. But in the pale moonlight that illuminated their faces, they couldn’t help but see how beautiful the other was. 

Swollen lips and faces, yet they’d laugh about it the next morning as if it was a fever dream that they both woke up from, because they were dumb like that. 

The silence that they basked in was only normal, natural for them. They lay together in bed, hands clasped together and the blanket laid lightly over their legs and parts of their abdomens. Even if they risked sleep paralysis, they were on their backs and looked blankly up at the ceiling, processing all that happened. 

Words really couldn’t match this level of intimacy, the peak of their chemistry was their mutual understanding of each other. 

That their tears meant _ “I love you.” _

That kisses meant “_ I adore you, in every shape and form.” _

That their connected hands meant _ “I’ll never let you go.” _

That their silence meant _ “I know that everything will be okay, my love.” _

And that was all they needed: hidden meanings and odd intentions that only they could understand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and a story ends. 
> 
> follow me @hangyuwu and @rynsyngyl on twt!! and please comment!! i want to know how yall felt hHAHAHAHA

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment & lmk how it was!!!


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